He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
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