I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
The Olympian is in my bed
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
