I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
