i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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