i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
just tell him i said nine months
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Randomize
