Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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