got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
