apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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