She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
The beer is more important than you right now.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
