i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
