Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
