I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
