I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
