so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize