No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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