you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
