"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
It's rum buckets o'clock
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
