3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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