Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
