woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
he shaved USA in his pubs
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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