ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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