Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
