i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
