It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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