Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
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