My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
