Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
There's a naked man in my car right now.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I supernannyed him into submission
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
