We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
The adults are the big ones right?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
