I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
