toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
if i can run in heels then i can drive
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
