O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
