three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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