Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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