i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
