Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
