Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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