Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
The air was thick with penises
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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