Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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