Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
