you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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