Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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