hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
