if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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