we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
