Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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