walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
