bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
