just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
