At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
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