Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He shit in the fireplace
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
