He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
