He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize