just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
