So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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