I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
