She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
