i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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