I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
