that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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